Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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