I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
