He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
