No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
