im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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