I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
