Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
