Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
