I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
