she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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