somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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