Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
