I could make wine with my vomit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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