I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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