3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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