True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
