People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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