i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
