i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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