i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
