i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize