the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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