he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
