As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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