so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
