i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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