you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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