I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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