Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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