I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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