I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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