We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
