cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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