I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
