Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
