i think my tv is drunk
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
