hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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