she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
