i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize