I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
