But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
