Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
