I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize