smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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