Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
