We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
