I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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