How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
