Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
