i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
