Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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