bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
