I need to stop coming to work sober
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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