it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
