Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
