you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
