You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
