Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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