Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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