one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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