these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
