ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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