I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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