To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
