i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
