She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
